Author: Tom Monks

Is this canoe trip a battle?

by Tom Monks
Should a journey with cancer be considered as a fight or a battle? Is that a useful approach to take? I remember thinking about that when this trip commenced and have reflected on it often since. 
People would tell me ‘keep fighting it’, or ‘keep up the good fight’ or you can ‘beat it’. I take a lot of encouragement from and really appreciate the concern of my family, friends, colleagues, the medical teams (doctors, nurses, radiologists, pharmacists and all the other disciplines I have encountered) and acquaintances.  Everybody has been so good to me.
But I have never really seen my canoe trip as a fight. I have fighters by my side to be sure who are doing battle on my behalf and I’m truly grateful to them. But my role is different. I often consider cancer to be an unwelcome guest, one I would really like to get rid of but a guest none the less. My job is to get this guest to leave or keep him occupied or engaged to allow the fighters to eject him or find other ways to control him and render him harmless. 

Lessons from tai chi would suggest that the best way to defeat an opponent is not with aggression. It is much better to use an opponents own energy against himself. I am still trying to figure out how to do this. Still ‘feeling’ the way so to speak.

I have recently started considering the cancer of part of myself. It is made of my cells and my genes. My Oncologist has referred to it recently as my cancer (although I’m sure she doesn’t mean me to take that literally). But if I can accept it as such then surely that would help in devising a strategy to get rid of it or to learn to live with it. Now there is further food for thought ….

What lessons are to be learned on a canoe trip

by Tom Monks
Being very interested in tai chi I asked my tai chi master/teacher about my canoe trip. He asked me what am I going to learn. That would help explain WHY I’m on this journey in the first place. I didn’t understand what he meant at the time. I thought long and hard and didn’t find any answer at the time.
I have been on this trip for about 16 or 17 months now and on reflection am beginning to realise that indeed I have learned a few things along the way. They are probably lessons that I should have learned over the course of life anyway. Sometimes lessons need to be learned the hard way.
Among the lessons I have learned are that,
  • Slowing down is good – Stop, Look and Listen – Life is not for rushing through.
  • Sometimes it is necessary to just say no.
  • People are surprising and are not always (if ever) what you think they are.
  • I have an Inner Strength I didn’t realise was there (we all do I think).
  • Take it day by day.
  • Stillness is essential.

What is the Canoe Trip all about

by Tom Monks
This is a blog I have been intending to start for sometime now. My canoe trip is another way of describing a quite difficult and lonely journey  A journey living with a serious health condition namely cancer. The big C – scary, frightening but undeniable. It needs to be dealt with. A journey where one needs to paddle ones own canoe.
I will attempt from time to time to make some comments and suggestions. Describe how I am handling things, physically, emotionally and psychologically. From right here and now I have no idea where this blog or indeed this cancer journey will lead. To date (about 18 months) it has been interesting and very informative. 
Hopefully it will help me understand what is happening and, more importantly why. I expect there will be mention of Tai Chi, Qi Kung, Yoga, Philosophy, Meditation, Acupuncture and Diet as part of the process. There will be talk on the usefulness of artistic activities, musical and visual arts and of the role of and effects on family and friends – we are all interdependent.
I will leave it at that for now but will return with further posts. I will have somethings to say, hopefully interesting things. I hope to approach this with an open heart and welcome comments and suggestions on how to proceed.